Living a Life That Matters

Living a Life That Matters
by Harold S. Kushner

Published in 2001. 166 pages.

http://www.amazon.com/Living-Life-Matters-Harold-Kushner/dp/0385720947/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1205366752&sr=8-1

First Sentence: Like many people, I live in two worlds.

Last Sentence: That love may not shield us from pain, death and loss, but it will make them more bearable, and that will be enough.

What its about(taken from amazon.com): In this practical book of spiritual advice, Harold Kushner (a Jewish Rabbi) shows us how even our smallest daily actions can become stepping stones toward integrity. Drawing on the stories of his own congregants, on literature, current events and, above all, on the Biblical story of Jacob, Kushner addresses some of the most persistent dilemmas of the human condition: Why do decent people so often violate their moral standards? How can we pursue justice without giving in to the lure of revenge? How can we turn our relationships with family and friends into genuine sources of meaning?

My thoughts about this book: This is the first book I have read by Kushner (although a few of his others sound interesting as well. And I thought it was phenomenal. There were several points in this small, quick read that really hit home for me. He offers an alternative way of thinking and never sounds like he is preaching or self-righteous. I took some notes while reading this book, and I thought I would include a few here (sorry if its kind of long):

Chapter 1: The Two Voices of God
-- 2 basic human needs: 1. to feel successful and important 2. to think of myself as a good person, deserve approval of other good people.
-- People near death - not feaful of death, but of insignificance. Fear they would die and leave no mark on the world.
Chapter 2: How to Win by Losing
~ Story of Jacob from the Bible, at war with himself, split between good & evil within himself
Chapter 3: What Kind of Person do you Want to be?
-- Sometimes we choose to do the wrong thing 1. because we are afraid, 2. out of anger or 3. to feel powerful.
-- Story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
Chapter 4: Wild Justice: The Seductive Pleasure of Getting Even
-- Revenge is punishment in the name of justice
-- It is cleansing to be able to forgive
-- Thirst for revenge is really the need to reclaim power, shed the role of victim
-- Forgiveness is a favor we do ourselves, not a favor we do to the other party.
-- We destroy a bit of our own humanity by giving in to the natural, instinctive desire to hurt as we have been hurt.
Chapter 5: Shalom: The Quest for Integrity
-- Integrity means being whole, unbroken, undivided.
-- Shalom = peace, no fighting within yourself.
-- There is no right way to do a wrong thing.
-- Whatever the authentic voice of God is, it is more than wishful thinking.
Chapter 6: Family and Friends: We are who we Love
-- We have a basic human need for intimacy. We need to feel loved, special, irreplacable. We also need to give love and make a difference in someone's life.
-- It takes more than one person to validate our sense of mattering to the world, that is why we need friends in our lives.
-- Friendships are voluntary, people remain our friends because they genuinely like us
Chapter 7: Best Actor in a Supporting Role
-- Its a Wonderful Life - angel shows main character what the world would be like if he had never existed. 'Each mans life touches many others. If he's not there, it leaves a hole.'
-- Every life touches many other lives
-- What one person alone cannot do, many of us together are often able to achieve.
-- L. Kushner 'Each lifetime is the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. For some there are more pieces. For others, the puzzle is more difficult to assemble. But know this: you do not have within yourself all the pieces to your puzzle. Everyone carries with them at least one and probably many pieces to someone else's puzzle.'
Chapter 8: Why we Matter to the World
-- Goodness and love are 2 experiences that assure us that our lives mattered to the world.
-- People die but love does not die. It is recycled from one heart, one life to another.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson '...to know that even one life has breathed easier because you lived - that is to have succeeded.'

When I finished it: March 12, 2008

Currently reading: No Death, No Fear by Thich Nhat Hanh