My Happiness Project

Something hit me this summer, I'm not happy.

Not truly happy within myself.

I am happy about certain aspects of my life. But also extremely unhappy with others. I realized when given free time, all I wanted to do is sleep. I lack motivation, procrastinate worse than ever. I'm easily frustrated or upset, have low self-esteem, and feel that my relationships are suffering.

I want to be the best mom I can be. I want to have a successful, happy relationship with my love. I want to have a clean & organized house where I can feel calm and at peace. I want to have more energy and feel healthy. I want to enjoy my hobbies again without guilt or exhaustion.

Sounds easy, right? Well, I made a conscious decision a few weeks ago that I am going to focus on increasing my happiness! I have a huge library of books already, so I decided to just dig in to some happiness books that have just been sitting on my shelf for years.

My two main resources so far have been:
Stumbling on Happiness
and
The How of Happiness

But then I found another book on my bottom shelf, one that I really wanted to read, but just never started... The Happiness Project.  Wow, this one really got me excited! It is thanks to this book alone that I plan to embark on my own 'Happiness Project' so to speak!

The first steps are basically gathering information & designing a personalized program for myself.

-- First, create a list of 12 overall principles that I want to improve (focusing on one each month for a year).
-- Then, under each principle, create more specific and measurable resolutions.
-- Identify my Personal Commandments - overall principles to guide my behavior and choices.
-- Find a strategy to record progress and hold myself accountable.

My goal is to design a solid plan and be ready to officially start on September 1st!!

Sick

OK, thanks to my dear friend Colleen, she has sparked my interest in trying to blog again. I do think I'm gonna try out this 365 Photo Challenge that some of my friends are taking part in. http://365project.org/
But also, we have some big changes coming up this year that I think would be nice to blog about for several reasons. First, as a journal to track the process. Second, to vent my feelings and maybe even get some feedback from others. Third, I'm hoping it will help me sort through what may become a messy and confusing journey.
So, there you have it - my first post in what will hopefully become a more regular occurance.
Meanwhile, I feel like crap and I'm ready to medicate and go to bed.
Goodnight all!

Perspective

So I've been feeling kind of overwhelmed and 'knocked around' these last few months with our financial situation, Tim's job, our house, the kids, blah, blah, blah...

Then today at school, I saw a mom that I haven't seen in several months so we were talking and catching up on each other's lives. I met her when we first moved here because her daughter was in my Madison's preschool class. Well about a year after I met her, she tearfully expressed to me that she had found a lump in her breast and was in the process of finding out the prognosis. Long story short, it was cancer, she suffered through more than 5 surgeries including a double mastectomy plus radiation and some other forms of treatment. Last April the doctors said she was in remission and the future looked bright.

Fast forward to our conversation today - she felt a tiny 'bump' in her breast region in January, went to see her doctor the very next day and by the following week, she was getting operated on again to remove the CANCER - it came back. In these last few months, she has endured 2 more surgeries plus lots of radiation. And this Friday she starts chemotherapy which will last through the end of August.

Meanwhile, her husband tore is ACL along with a few other muscles in his knee and was out of work for six months. Of course she has had to quit her job because of her sickness, therefore they are unable to afford their mortgage. Needless to say, it is now taking a toll on their marriage. Heartbreaking.

I wish I knew why God puts these obstacles and painful experiences in people's lives? It just doesn't make sense to me. They are a hardworking, loving couple trying to do the best in this world and raise two beautiful children. Why??

One thing I do know is that God placed her in my life for a reason and today that reason was to give me a little 'shake' to say 'Count your blessings!' It could be so much worse, there are people out there who are truly suffering. What we are going through pales in comparison. For that I am eternally grateful. But I continue to pray - I pray for the complete healing of my friend and her marriage and family. So, let's keep our lives and our troubles in perspective. And keep your chin up, the sun will come out tomorrow!!

New Beginnings

Its been so long since I last blogged, you may think, 'why now?' Actually, I have wanted to post for awhile but honestly thought 'whats the point?'. Then I realized the point is: for me to journal about my feelings and my life. It's for me. If you find my thoughts interesting or maybe they help you in some way, then that is even better.

We are going through some major changes in our lives right now. Tim's new job in Delaware. Bankruptcy, which will ultimately lead to losing our house. Giving up our expensive car. Financially, we have crumbled. And it was/is devastating. Heartbreaking. Embarrassing. Frustrating. But the positive is, now we are off to a fresh start and I have to be excited about that. I want to make the right decisions to lead us into a brighter future. I know we can rebuild and be as good, if not BETTER, than we have ever been financially. But it is going to be a long, slow journey. We can do it! Right?

The big decision that we face at this point is whether we want to stay in our current town or move back 'home' to PA. I think ultimately, PA is where we belong. No matter how long we live here, this will never truly be our home. Home includes all of our family and friends. The people who are most important to us. The only reason we moved down here was for Tim's job and now that job has gone away. So, why stay? But it's actually not quite as easy as that.

The schools are incredible! They are everything the reviews say and more. The girls really love school and are doing so well. The special education dept is out of this world and they support our girls in every way imaginable. Not to mention, I have a job at the school which I really enjoy, which is the cherry on top!

The town itself is quite endearing. The bike path. The playground/park. The community as a whole with events and fun things that pull the community together.

Living near the beach and boardwalk keep us happy all year long. We are only 10 minutes away, which is far enough away to avoid the traffic or flooding issues, but close enough to go anytime we want! Sun, Sand and Mack & Manco's pizza - can we ask for more than that?!!

Friends. The girls have met some nice friends at school and enjoy lots of play dates. Especially Kaitlyn. She has grown so connected to a very sweet little girl in her class and they became instant best friends. I have also met some very nice people. No one who could even come close to my friends back home though. And that is tough. You would think after almost three years, I would have really connected with a core group of friends. People are very different down here. We live in a wealthy town and people have very high standards when it comes to lifestyle and such.

So anyway, for now it looks like we will be staying in our house until next summer. Meanwhile, we are going to save as much money as we can and keep our eyes out for the right rental property in PA (probably Owen J Roberts school district in Chester County).

The skies are looking brighter. We are all healthy and safe. Tim has a job thank God. So although life isn't turning out the way we planned or expected it to, we are learning to roll with the punches... one day at a time!!

Is November really half over?!?!

One week till Thanksgiving ... REALLY???

So many things to be thankful for:

- My job that I love
- All four girls remaining healthy (even thru the Swine Flu scare)
- Tim's vasectomy went well and hopefully was a success!
- Pops was not hurt in his car accident PLUS Tim & Pops were able to fix the car with parts from a junkyard
- Kaitlyn joining 2 social groups at school - both started this week and both are geared toward self-esteem building - one is a running group
- Got to visit each of the girls classrooms this week and see what they do everyday
- the 'Best' pediatric dentist around now finally takes our dental insurance and all four girls have an appt in 2 weeks
- addictive Facebook games that help take my mind away for awhile
- Tim's job offer from a company in Delaware (not the offer we were hoping for, but still promising)
- Our awesome date night last weekend - I finally got to eat at PF Changs (Tim's fave) and we saw A Christmas Carol at IMAX 3D and walked around The Tropicana in AC
- Tim loving his new car (BMW)
- having the girls help put away tons of laundry tonight - they even hung them up!
- Tim's safe flights all around the world (I still worry after all these years)
- Awesome family & friends who create the best support group for us
- taking aspirin everyday has helped relieved some of my awful heart pain (at least to get me thru till my next test on Dec 4)
- Mack n Manco pizza (love it! haha)
- I could go on and on but... well the one big thing I'm thankful for is a cozy warm bed to sleep in!! Which is where I'm headed right now! :)

G'night my friends!

We are still ALIVE!!

Hello folks!!

I don't think it's ever been this long in between blog posts for me - I can attribute it to a few factors:

1. An awesomely FUN summer!
2. Facebook - since joining FB, it seems I am better able to keep in touch with friends and family, as well as post pics and update my status every day.
3. Crazy busy with Tim gone at least 3 weeks out of every month.
4. And... well... life just kinda took over a bit more than usual.

SOOOO... I'm Baaaaackkk...!! I honestly cant promise that I'll be posting full Summer updates because frankly, it's so far past that you probably wouldn't even care! And even if you did care, I probably wouldn't be able to remember half of it anyway!

Hopefully I will keep up a little better now and let's get re-connected cuz I missed you! :)

Rewind to May!

Since I'm SO far behind... let's just do a review in photos!

5.2.09 Brian's college graduation






5.5.09 Kaitlyn's birthday





5.9.09 Kaitlyn's party






5.10.09 Mother's Day






5.25.09 Memorial Day










5.30.09 Dorney Park